Short answer
If you die without a clear access path for your spouse, your crypto becomes effectively unreachable. The blockchain has no probate; the seed phrase is either accessible or it isn't. The single most important thing you can do today: write down where the seed phrase backup is, who else knows about it, and how an executor would access it — and put that information somewhere your spouse can find it. This is a 30-minute task that prevents your crypto holdings from being permanently lost.
The minimum viable plan
Even if you haven't done formal estate planning, do these three things today:
1. Document where the seed phrase backup is. Write: "My crypto seed phrase is on a steel plate in the home safe, combination 12-34-56" or "in safe-deposit box at Wells Fargo Main Street branch, key in my desk drawer." Put this in a sealed envelope labeled "READ IF I DIE OR AM INCAPACITATED" somewhere your spouse will find it.
2. List the exchanges you use. "I have accounts at Coinbase (email coinbase@example.com), Kraken (email kraken@example.com), and Gemini (email gemini@example.com). The passwords are in 1Password under my master password [stored separately]."
3. Identify a crypto-savvy friend or attorney who can help your spouse navigate the technical steps. Crypto recovery is technical; non-technical spouses need a guide.
The proper plan
Once you've done the minimum, work on the proper plan:
Will with crypto provisions. Consult a crypto-aware estate attorney in your US state. Cost: $1,500-3,000 for basic plan. The will names an executor, directs distribution, and references how to access the assets.
Sealed instructions. A document held by your attorney with explicit access steps. Not in the will (wills become public), not at home (home could burn down). Attorney's office or bank safe-deposit box.
Multisig or Shamir-split. 2-of-3 setup. One key with spouse (or in home safe), one with attorney, one in safe-deposit box. Spouse + attorney can reconstruct without you. Casa and Unchained Capital offer managed multisig estate services.
Trust structure for high-net-worth holders. Trust company holds crypto custody; beneficiaries are named; distributions follow trust terms. More complex, more expensive ($5K-15K to set up), but cleaner for $1M+ holdings.
What your spouse needs to know now
Have an actual conversation, not just a document. Topics:
- That crypto exists in the family assets
- Roughly how much (so they don't ignore it as "small")
- Who to call for help (the crypto-savvy friend or attorney)
- Where the seed phrase backup is (high-level — not the actual phrase)
- That the access information is in a specific sealed envelope at a specific location
You don't need to give them the seed phrase directly — that creates risks while you're alive (divorce, coercion, accidental disclosure). What they need is the map to the seed phrase, not the phrase itself.
The pre-death incapacity case
Stroke, dementia, severe accident — you may be alive but unable to manage. Most marriages have power-of-attorney documents for this; crypto inheritance plans should include a path for incapacity, not just death. Multisig with co-signers handles this elegantly: spouse + attorney can act on your behalf without your participation when needed.
The 100% common failure mode
Crypto holder dies suddenly. Spouse knows crypto exists but doesn't know where or how to access. After months of searching, family inferred crypto was held at certain exchanges. Exchange customer service deals with estate-claim requests (slow, bureaucratic), spouse eventually gets some of the funds. The self-custody portion stays locked on-chain forever.
The fix is one sealed envelope and one 15-minute conversation. Do it this weekend.
Further reading: Shamir Backup, Multisig.